YOU know you're from Melbourne if (part II) …

■ You think the Queen Vic Market opening hours are normal.

■ The sight of kids in pyjamas, dressing gowns and slippers in the street makes you immediately think of the Myer Christmas windows.

■ You're more impressed by someone telling you they're a barista than a barrister.

■ You subscribe to The Monthly but don't read it, only buy The Big Issue if people are watching and have a RRR sticker on your car but you've been listening to the ABC since you moved out of share-houses.

■ You've read The Slap and hate every character in it. But they remind you of your friends.

■ ■ You own a tagine, a poffertje iron and a pasta maker. And have never used any of them.

■ You haven't paid for a ticket on tram in 10 years but you'd pay double if they reintroduced connies.

■ Your three favourite words are: ''Tullamarine, thanks driver.''

■ The last place you'd go for pizza is Lygon Street.

■ ■ You feel sorry for Geelong.

■ Laneways full of people sitting on milk crates eating breakfast at 3pm seems normal.

■ You've lived in London, been to conferences in Paris, holidayed in Rome and know New York like the back of your hand, but you've never seen the penguins at Phillip Island.

■ ■ The fact there's a Chardonnay Crescent and Champagne Road in Chirnside Park reinforces your suspicion that Kath and Kim is a documentary.

■ You hope the Southern Star wheel never gets fixed because if it stays broken we can call it an installation.

■ ■ South Melbourne Market means only one thing: giant chicken dim sims.

■ You know Richmond's postcode is 3121. And Channel Nine's address is 22 Bendigo Street.

■ You hate it when they shoot a car chase in Melbourne and Sydney and the editing jumps between the two cities. Like we won't notice.

■You have a friend in a band. Or who says they're in a band.

■ You know the difference between Carlton and North Carlton, Heidelberg and West Heidelberg and Malvern and East Malvern is about $120,000.

■ You know drunk women wearing fascinators staggering around the city with their shoes slung over their shoulder means Oaks day has turned into Dog Day Afternoon.

■ Your favourite joke is Pakenham Upper.

■ You love that only Melbourne people will get this quiz.